How to Budget With ADHD, Depression, or Anxiety.

Trying to learn how to budget with ADHD, depression, and/or anxiety? I break it all down for you right here in this response to a reader’s question. 

“I need help. Because of depression and anxiety, I spend money to make myself feel better. How do I change this? I’ve been trying for years and nothing seems to work.”

–Sara

First off, the fact that you recognize that you spend money because of your depression and anxiety is pretty huge.

That’s called the crux. It’s the reason behind the feeling or behavior. A lot of people try to solve the problem by treating the symptoms (like “okay, this time I’m getting serious! I’m going to stick to the budget”) but because the crux is never factored in, nothing actually changes.

I’m not a mental health specialist (obviously), so take this as advice from a friend and not advice from a doctor…

From my perspective, the mistake people make in this situation is focusing their efforts on trying to eliminate the anxiety or depression (or ADHD, Fibromyalgia, cancer, or any of a million other medical conditions that affect the way we behave)… I think that’s a mistake because even when those conditions can be managed and treated they will still likely always have some effect on your behavior.

So here’s my advice:

Manage the Condition.

1. We still have to start with managing the conditions that are causing the behavior. And that means talking to a doctor and/or a therapist if you aren’t already.

• I realize how ridiculous that can sound if you don’t have insurance (or the money for the copays even if you do have insurance). But in most towns, you can find a free clinic and/or options for sliding scale fees (where they charge you based on income).

​

• If you prefer to talk to someone on the phone (or don’t meet the income standards for NeedyMeds) you can also call The National Alliance on Mental Illness which operates a toll-free helpline for people who need to get mental health help with no insurance. You can reach NAMI online at Nami.org or by phone at 1-800-950-6264. You can also text “NAMI” to 741741 on a smartphone.

​

• If you aren’t low income, and you have insurance, but you can’t afford the medications or therapy, look at options like Cerebral and Betterhelp and GoodRx for discounted medications or therapy.

​

Work With Your Unique Personality.

2. Accept the depression and anxiety as part of your personality. Even when it’s managed well with therapy and/or medication, it’s still a part of you (and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE NOT BROKEN, you’re exactly who you’re meant to be).

Most people blame the condition and think “I will always suck at budgeting because of (ADHD or depression or anxiety)” so they put all of their efforts into “eliminating” those and think the spending problem can only be fixed when the condition is “fixed”.

​
But these conditions are incredibly complex and different from person to person. They take years to learn how to manage effectively and you likely don’t have years to fix your finances.

So we need to find solutions that work with your unique personality as it is now. Thankfully, this is our specialty!

​

Out of Sight, Out of Mind.

There’s going to be times when you care about your spending and staying on budget and times that you don’t care in the slightest.

We need “Sensible Sara” (you when you care) to set up your life in such a way that it’s easier for “Spendy Sara” (you when you don’t care) to do what you want her to do. We want to follow what your natural inclinations are PLUS, we need to do that in a way that “Spendy Sara” is still happy and loves her life (because…. plot twist… you’re all the same person. 🙂

One of the best ways to do this is to send money to a hard-to-reach bank account every month (I call these offshore banks- but they’re not actually money laundering banks in Switzerland, they’re just reputable online banks with no fees but also no local branches so Spendy Sara can’t pop over and get money out).

Don’t get checks or a debit card for that account. The only way to get money out is to do a transfer to your main bank, which takes 3 days. Which gives you time to cool off and decide if it’s worth it.

Hoard as much money away as possible into that account, even if it’s just $10 a month.

Hint: My favorite “offshore” banks are Capital One 360 Savings and Ally because they give you high interest on your savings, have no fees, and have easy to navigate websites.

As your income increases and you get your debt under control, you’ll have more and more money to set aside here, but always keep your main bank account “poor” because if you have extra money in the account, you’ll spend it. When it’s out of sight and out of mind, it’s overwhelming to find the account numbers, link the accounts, and figure out how to initiate a transfer, so you won’t do it.

If we know that Spendy Sara’s going to spend what’s in the bank account, let’s make sure she has the least amount of money possible to “screw up” with.

​
​Incentivized Spending.

This is the absolute best way to deal with a “spendy” personality or a personality that’s resistant to budgeting. Let’s think of it this way, Spendy Sara’s getting dopamine hits (the feel-good neurotransmitter) every time she buys something that’s out of her budget PLUS she gets the tan leather backpack (or whatever she was excited about buying). She’s pretty happy.

Sensible Sara, at best… if she makes the right decision and doesn’t buy the backpack… gets no backpack, no dopamine release, and she has to deal with her ADHD, depression, and anxiety with no distractions.

And her reward? If by some miracle, she continues to make these good decisions for many years, (which she and everyone else in her life knows is not going to happen) she’ll get to be debt-free, or buy a house, or be stable in retirement or some other thing that feels like it won’t happen until she’s so old and wrinkly she won’t even care anymore.

Incentivized savings gives Sensible Sara a way to win by being under budget for the week and then getting to take a percentage of what’s left (20-50%) and spend it however she wants. Every week, or even every day… no waiting needed.

It’s totally doable. It will also calm Spendy Sara down a little and give her a way to win by still spending money but ALSO putting money towards savings or debt or investments (because that’s where the other 50-80% that you were under budget goes).

This is GENIUS because it’s easy to stick with, both sides of your personality are happy, and you can still distract yourself from anxiety or depression by shopping (which is likely a habit you already have) but this time, you’re filling up your wants lists with things you’re going to buy when you earn them.

You also make better purchase decisions because you have a huge list of things you want to buy and you make a decision by looking at everything together and deciding what you want to buy the most.

​

Want more? You can learn our whole system of budgeting with your unique personality in this 1.5 hour workshop at no cost through this link. ​

​